Heidi Seeker loves you! Super accessories, unique clothing and loads of uber-cute gifts for everyone with a kooky sense of fun!

• Shop
• High Five
• Blog
• Ask Heidi
• Links

So Ralph, you are back! What have you been up to? Why has it been so long?

Well, I have been in the USA trying to start my own 'celebrity' religion. It was good to start off with, I had a few dedicated followers, mainly celebrity pets. I figured if I could get the pets on board then the owners would follow. Unfortunately the strict rules about ham and regular pouches of Felix cat food meant most celeb types just couldn't handle the weight gain so had to turn back to Scientology.

Well I suppose it was worth a try! I hear you got quite friendly with a certain queen of pop whilst you were away...

Yes Britney! I LOVE her, poor thing she has had a lot of flack recently and it is not fair I happen to have a very fluctuating waist line and I would hate it if everyone scrutinised my every move. I would have to give up ham for starters which would be devastating. Anyway we are besties now, she even asked me to pose for a Ralph print zippy she was having made.

Wow that must have been great! It does look a lot like you actually. I am sure it was worth the near starvation to be immortalised in sweat-shirting.

Yes it was! I got Heidi to make me my very own 'trash princess' personalised cardi to wear in tribute to Britney. This is a miniature Ralph sized version of the new ones appearing on heidiseeker.com in the next week or so. I wear it all the time and always get loads of compliments.

It does look AWESOME Ralph! So any other celebrity news?

Yes I have been keeping quiet about this but I feel I need to speak out! I happen to know that two awesome hit artists are not entirely what they seem. Next time you are at a festival have a look underneath Kate Nash's keyboard. You may see my good friend Nasher. Nasher plays all of the songs and sings when Kate forgets her words. I am only speaking out because I heard Kate had cut down Nasher's after-show sitting on knee and getting cuddles time because he kept making holes in her gorgeous vintage frocks. poor Nasher, he needs cuddles or he gets very low self esteem.

I also needed to mention my other feline pal, Muffy. She is the real talent behind indie songstress, Duffy. Duffy doesn't really like singing very much and prefers frolicking about on freezing welsh beaches. So whilst she ropes unsuspecting passers by into playing frisbee with her and looking windswept and gorgeous my friend Muffy toils away. She is the voice behind Duffy and recorded her whole album in secret. Due to legal paperwork she cannot officially disclose what she was paid but I happen to know she didn't get the requested gourmet kitbits and had to make do with cockles Duffy found on the beach. If she had agreed to let me manage her it would never have happened.

Crikey Ralph! I had no idea.

Yes it goes on a lot more than you would have thought. I happen to have laid down a few tracks for Beyonce in my early days. It was totally worth it as she gave me loads of cuddles and let me play with her dangle earrings.

Well thanks for sharing all your latest news with us Ralph, please don't leave it so long to come back next time, we missed you!